Before you decide, read your options and what to do to make it legal.
Reasons to change
In spite of the revolution in women's roles, many still expect married couples to have the same last name. So for convenience sake, taking your husband’s name will make your life easier, especially for your children. You won't have to explain that you two really are Joshua’s and Laurie's parents and that you really are married, even if your names are different.
Other pluses: easier monograms, and less complicated dinner reservations. Plus, it's kind of nice sharing a name with the man you love. There's something very "connecting" about it.
Reasons to resist
It's acceptable for a woman to keep her own name. You've had your name your whole life, and it's one aspect of your identity. Changing your name may feel like you're losing you. Perhaps you have made a name for yourself professionally such as, “Laurie Goldsmith, Graphic Artist.”
Maybe you want to ensure the family name lives on. Another factor is how a name sounds, as you may want to keep yours if his doesn't “sound right.”
However, even if you try to keep your last name you will still upon occasion be referred to as Mrs. His name. Try not to let it get to you and decide now how to handle this gracefully, or you'll spend the rest of your life trying to correct people.
What to change
Contrary to popular belief, obtaining a marriage license that uses your new last name does not automatically changed you last name. If you've decided to change your name, after the wedding is the time to make it official. Most important are your Social Security card, driver's license and passport. NOTE: It's easier to take your honeymoon with your maiden name because your passport must match the name on your ticket and other travel documents!
Get a certified marriage license with a raised seal. Call the office where your license was filed for additional copies.
Social Security Card
Call the Social Security Administration at (800) 772-1213. An automated system will talk you through the name change process. Your new card will be issued for free. If a company that, for a fee, says they will change your SSA card contacts you, report them to authorities.
Driver's License
This requires a visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles. Bring you current drivers license and your certified marriage license.
Passport
Now, off you go to the US Post Office to contact the postal clerk that will guide you through this process.
The rest of the new you
Once you have your social security card, driver's license, and passport in your married name, the other changes can be made. Some only require a phone call others may request a copy of your marriage certificate or your other ID.
People and institutions to notify: Friends and family • Employers/payroll • Post office • Phone company and other utilities • Banks and other financial institutions • Credit card companies • Schools and alumni associations • Voter registration • Library card • Mortgages and leases • Wills • Insurance policies • Magazine subscriptions
Other name change options
As you will learn in marriage, there is always compromise. Here are a variety of name-change options for the bride and groom to consider:
Hyphenated names
The husband and wife’s name are joined together with a hyphen. Edna Bledsoe becomes Edna Bledsoe-Smith while John remains John Smith. Some couples both change to the hyphenated name.
Husband takes wife’s name
John Smith marries Edna Bledsoe and becomes… John Bledsoe.
Maiden name becomes second middle name
Edna Jeanne Bledsoe becomes Edna Jeanne Bledsoe Smith. So she is Mrs. Smith, and also has her birth name.
Retain professional name
Edna Bledsoe legally becomes Edna Smith but professionally keeps her birth name. Legally and socially you're a married couple but professionally Edna retains her identity.
Brand new name for both
Edna Jeanne Bledsoe and John Clark Smith become Edna and John Bledsmith. Without an acceptable combination of names, you could select a name with symbolic meaning or simply that sounds good.
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